When couples separate or divorce, there may be animosity or tension between them. However, when the parties share children, it is crucial that the breakdown of the relationship does not lead to the breakdown of the relationship either of the parents have with their children.
It is useful to aim your focus on what you are trying to achieve for your children both in the short and long term. Children are the primary concern. They did not choose to separate or divorce, and usually they love both parents equally. Your anger and hurt need to take a back seat if you want your children to grow up healthy, happy, and with support from both their parents.
Three effective strategies are:
- Focus on your ex’s good points – they will have some – they are what attracted you to them in the first place! This may not be easy, however in the long term it can be vital to achieving a healthy functioning family.
- Make harmony your goal. When it is achieved it is likely that both time and money will be saved. Harmony enables us to negotiate both child and parental needs resulting in a win/win situation for all.
- Seek advice from legal and counselling Knowledge is power and if used for the good of the family unit can often make the difference between a healthy and balanced family and one that becomes dysfunctional.
Your ex is the mother/father of your children. Your children are a part of you both. How you handle this transition will likely be reflected on how your children handle relationship difficulties as adults.
We understand breakdowns in relationships can be difficult and confronting times. If you would like to discuss your family law matter with one of our experienced family law lawyers, please contact us on 9963 9800 or message us here.
Special thanks to Alexandra Roberts, counsellor and psychotherapist for this article. Alexandra can be reached on 02 9929 2977 or 0409 201 604 and has rooms in Berry St, North Sydney.